Crime – Poverty – Compassion – Selfishness

05Jan09

Crime

I almost got mugged tonight. Fortunately, my screams scared the guy away. He pretended he had a gun under his sweatshirt, but I was pretty sure it was just his hand. I was right.


When I see a dark-skinned guy at night, I’m afraid he will try to mug me. When I see a white guy at night, I’m afraid he will try to rape me. And you don’t really see blacks or asians down here, so I won’t speculate about men of other skin colors/races. So, dark skin = thief, white skin = rapist. Hmm. That’s what I’ve let myself be somewhat led to believe during my time as a white female adult in the U.S. What I bet had greater weight, though, is that most or all of the people who have stolen or tried to steal from me are dark-skinned.


Nonetheless, it’s time to deconstruct the racism within me, to stop generalizing. For some reason, I only recently realized it. It was shocking and disturbing, given my preaching about treating everybody for who they are and not on appearance, class, sexual orientation, or sex/gender.


To recap: I am afraid of men when I am out in the streets at night, whether alone or not, and regardless of the sex/gender of the individuals who may be with me.


You know, I totally love this paradigm in which women get fucked over– both literally and figuratively–just for being women, for having rapeable vaginas and giving birth, because of which we are obviously the ones who must rear children, work and cook and clean. You know, because that stuff isn’t masculine. We are weaker, dumber, more exploitable, more objectifiable, worth less, less deserving of rights and justice. Being a woman in this society is awesome.


If you disagree and want to mouth off because there’s no such thing as sexism anymore, this is a post-feminist era, and so on, first, research, and then, put yourself in our flimsy, bone-deforming high-heeled shoes, step out of your (probably white and heterosexual) male priviledge castle made out of usurped women’s ”pussies,” asses, and tits, and then you can talk.  K thx.


About Poverty


When somebody tries to mug me, I get hella pissed and want to spray mace into their eyes until they lie convulsing on the floor, hysterical, and in excrutiating pain.


But, how fair is this?


I have stuff that is not crucial to my survival (an mp3 player, a digital camera) that these thieves could sell to buy food (or drugs–who knows?)–something we do require to survive. So who’s the jerk here? Him for trying to mug me, or me for enjoying my bourgeois tech toys instead of having donated the $ they’re worth to the needy? The guy I encountered tonight didn’t even have a gun. He can’t even invest toward more successful criminal ventures. He probably doesn’t have the luxury of being able to spend $10 on a book by Hegel like I do, let alone benefit from an education that would teach him who the hell Hegel is.


I feel guilty about enjoying my toys daily, every time I see somebody who appears to have little money or none at all. And I don’t look them in the eye because I am ashamed. It is irrelevant that I am not rolling in cash at the moment, because there are still things I could do to help those persons. I am ashamed because I’m too selfish to sell my toys; I’d evidently rather keep them than make a needy person smile in gratitude.


I comfort myself by remembering that I do make an effort to help the needy; I’ve just chosen a different demographic: stray dogs and cats. And I feel guilty when I run out of resources and can’t pick up another stray until the one I have at home gets adopted. I wish I could help every living being in need who deserves it (e.g. not rapists) – and at once! Who has patience when there exists such rampant injustice? Poverty, crime, torture, apathy … Many (most?) people don’t even feel guilty about how cruelly selfish they are; they don’t even think about it. That is my guess, anyway. I hope I’m wrong.


I wish everybody did something to help the less fortunate.


By giving something (time, $, shelter, food, etc.), at least sometimes.


WE ARE ALL ONE. (Don’t be an asshole.)



humanity-love

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